It’s finally happening folks. The incredible made-for-TV movie Sharknado comes out tonight.
What better way to embrace this truly historic and awesome event than by a drinking game. Let’s be honest: we all know that this needs to happen. Anyone who doesn’t think Sharknado is going to be infinitely better while wasted needs to re-think their entire existence.
For those that haven’t seen or heard about Sharknado (and if you happen to be one of those people please get out from under the rock you’ve been living under), here is a link to the trailer for what could possibly be the world’s greatest movie ever. Ever people.
Anyways, now that we’ve got that out of the way let’s get going with the drinking game.
Every time Tara Reid is shown simply for her boobs, take one drink
Look, no one is going to convince me that Tara Reid is in this movie for any reason other than her boobs. I expect a number of scenes where she is wearing a skin-tight shirt and doing absolutely nothing.
I also expect you to get very drunk off this lone rule of the drinking game.
Drink every time a shark is killed by something other than a gun
Spears, chainsaws and bare hands all count in this category. As long as a shark dies by something other than a gun you’ll be taking a drink.
Also, I’m fully expecting a final scene of Ian Ziering and the leader of the sharks in a hand-to-hand fight to the death. Please don’t disappoint me Sharknado.
Whenever a human gets eaten whole, take one shot
I’m not talking about biting the legs off and then finishing the top. I’m talking about a shark flying through the air and devouring a human being entirely whole.
I’m not expecting this to happen often, which is why it’s good for a single shot, but I pray to God that I’m proven wrong.
If a shark is alive on the ground without any water nearby for more than five seconds, take two shots
I’m not sure how long sharks can live without water, but I can’t wait to see how Sharknado figures out to get sharks on land and living.
When the director was asked about this, his response was this (via Uproxx):
There’s a flood. And a storm. Don’t worry about it.
Has there ever been a better answer to a question since the world was created? I think not, which is why this phenomenon is worth two shots.
Whenever a shark dies by chainsaw, chug a beer
We know that at least one shark is dying by a chainsaw, so you might as well put a cold beer aside for when that happens. However, my gut tells me that plenty more sharks will be dying by way of a chainsaw, so I’d get ready to get plenty wasted off this single rule.
If sharks and humans learn to live in peace on land by the end of the movie, drink a 12-pack
How amazing would this ending be? Seeing Tara Reid raise a little human-shark family with a shark and Ian Ziering pumping fists and fins would be the perfect ending to this movie.
There are your rules for the Sharknado drinking game for tonight, or anytime you decide to watch this movie after you DVR it tonight.
I’d just plan on calling in sick to work right now.